The Taste of Apples and Pudding
by majorfangirl
Summary: Tired of being the nice guy, Masaya decides to pretend to be a jerk by dumping Ichigo and chasing Ringo and Pudding! However, this proves to be hard, especially when he keeps running into a crazy white haired girl who sings. R/M/P Warning: anti-Ichigo


**A/N: So, it's been a year already! It seems like just yesterday I was sitting on my couch with a golden gel pen and a notebook in hand, working on Konoha Christmas, when in reality, it was last year. Anyway, this story, along with Sixth Hour English, tied, so I'll have to write both.**

**Red Shirt Hannah: SUPPORT NUDITY!**

**Me: …why did I create you again?**

**RSH: . . Shut up…**

**The Taste of Apples and Pudding**

Every time he heard her irritating voice call his name, he was even more sure of his decision. After all, why wouldn't he want something different than what he had always had? He hated, hated, hated continuing a life as a the nice, sensitive boyfriend, AKA Mr. Perfect pushover.

For once in his life, could he not be insensitive? Could he not be a jerk? All he wanted was to _be_ an insensitive jerk! Insensitive, jerkish, with more than one girl, and definitely not with _her_. Back when they had been thirteen, he had really liked her, but she never grew out of the, "Ooh, squee, you're so perfect, Aoyama!"

He was eighteen now and no longer had to be perfect for his parents, so long as he did fine in college, which he was sure that his new plans wouldn't interfere with at all. He might be doing a bit more partying, but he was sure that he could save that for the weekends.

Masaya Aoyama had always been a popular, well-liked, tree-hugging, impossibly perfect guy with brown eyes that made girls as bad as Sasuke fangirls and black hair that he almost always found his girlfriend's fingers in.

Sure, Ichigo Momoiya was a cute redhead, but she was annoying as crap and going steady with her meant that there was no time for him to initiate ass hole transformation. He was sure there was someone who would want to be with her when he ended their relationship, which was what he was going to do very soon.

After that, he would dedicate his time to two other girls, two that would be easy catches. He had originally planned to use Ichigo's idiot friends Moe and Miwa, but was sure that they would take her side and refuse to see him again. Besides, they would probably be just as annoying as her.

Now he was back on the hunt to find someone who wasn't like her that she knew, who wouldn't treat him like crap for dumping her. So far, no luck, considering all her friends worshipped her when she had done absolutely nothing to deserve that. But, hey, she was a random cat girl, so she everyone had to love her.

As he walked down the streets, a girl with white hair and yellow eyes, danced (or flailed) past, singing Shipoopi from The Music Man, and pointed at him as she flailed away.

He had no idea who this crazy person was or why she would be singing and flail-dancing in public, but he did know that that was song he would _not_ use to advise himself in finding the two girls to use.

Finally he reached the building where Ichigo's new apartment was. He had told her that he was coming over, but he hadn't even hinted that he was going to break her heart. He was doing a good job of turning himself into a jerk.

"Hey, Aoyama," his girlfriend said seductively. She hardly had anything on and he knew exactly what she thought he was coming over for.

"Hey, Ichigo, it's over," he said casually.

"Huh? What is?"

_Alright, gotta be jerkish about it_, he thought.

"What do you think, stupid? I'm breaking up with you. See ya," he turned and left abruptly, ignoring her distressed calls to get him to stop and reconsider.

~X~

As he walked back home, the Shipoopi girl was now singing 76 Trombones and flailing some more.

_Maybe I can practice right now…_

"Hey, you! Why are you going around singing and having a seizure?" Masaya asked, glaring at the white haired crazy.

"What are you, stupid? I just had Subway! Sheesh!" And she ran off singing a song about some person named Marion who seemed to be a librarian.

_Note to self: don't practice jerkiness on mentally unstable girls with unnatural hair and eye colors._

~X~

He didn't know how he hadn't thought of it before: the perfect girls to use in his quest to be a complete ass. Two girls that wouldn't be hard to win at all! They were a bit younger than him, still in high school, but that was what would help. Young and probably jumping at the chance to go out with an older guy. They were friends with Ichigo, but he was sure that they wouldn't avoid him for breaking things off with her.

It was so simple that he was surprised it was just coming to him, the morning after he dumped the redhead. Pudding Fong and Ringo Akai, the youngest employees at Café Mew Mew.

So that was how he found himself staring at the familiar, hideous pink building.

"Welcome to Café M- oh." Mint Aizawa's cold stare told him that she knew about the breakup. No matter, he wasn't interested in her today. (Or any day for that matter)

"Hello," he said in his old friendly voice, then mentally smacked himself for being nice to her.

"What do you want? I'll have you know, you interrupted my tea," she said snobbishly.

"It's hilarious that you think I give a fuck," he said with a smirk.

She was slightly taken aback before saying, "Do you have any idea who you just said that to? Why, I am-"

"Mint Aizawa, a really rich girl, Aizawa enterprises, I've heard it all before, okay? Really, you're more of a bratty, bitchy, prissy snob living on daddy's money, but I guess you can pretend to be important if it helps you forget how useless you are," he said, feeling a pang of guilt as he saw tears form in her eyes.

_This is much harder than I thought._

She turned away so that he wouldn't see her crying and said, "Ichigo! You're no good ex is here!"

"A-aoyama? Are you here to make up with me?" she squealed, flying towards him.

"Wow, you really are stupid," he said. "I'm here to see Ringo and Pudding, not you. You're almost as full of yourself as Mint."

"Why don't you love me anymore?" she said, bursting into tears. "What did I do wrong? And when did you turn mean? You're a nice guy, a really nice guy!"

_Exactly, and that's why I need to be this mean. You know better than anyone that this isn't me, but I'm sick of being a pushover guy._

"Shut _up_," he said, beginning to regret how much he was hurting her. Sure, she was really annoying, but she had always been good to him and really didn't deserve to be treated this way. Still, he couldn't allow himself any soft spots.

He pushed her slightly aside (not causing her to fall; he couldn't bring himself to physically hurt her) and found his way to where the two girls were talking, Pudding taking up most of the conversation.

"Well, Pudding needs to go home now," she said, getting up to leave. "Oh, hello, Aoyama!""Masaya," he said, "call me Masaya. I'll walk you out, okay?" He wasn't actually sounding like a jerk right now, but he had to get slightly on their good sides.

So he and Pudding walked all the way to the end of the street. He flirted, asked about her plans, even mentioned something about a show she would really like, and she was completely oblivious!

As he walked back to the café, he wondered how he would get the silly blonde to actually notice that he was interested in her. _Perhaps I've chosen someone too innocent._

He reached Ringo and she looked up at him. "What do you want?"

"Well, I was just wondering if you were interested in accompanying me to lunch or something," he said coolly, as if he wasn't formerly a guy who would sweetly ask her on a date.

"No."

"What?"

"Excuse me, did I stutter? No! I do not want to go out with you," she said, turning away.

"Now, wait just a minute, Ringo! Why be such a bitch? Just go on a date with me!"

"No!"

_This isn't like her. She's normally really sweet._

"Why not?"

"Because you decided to go all bipolar on us and break Ichigo's heart! And don't think I didn't see you being mean to Mint _or _hitting on Pudding! I don't know what you're up to, but you're being a real ass, and until you stop, I'll be just as bad to you!"

_This is going to be _way _harder than I thought._

**A/N: Hey, Masaya fans, Masaya haters, I don't know which one this appeals to. Meh, who cares? Ichigo haters should enjoy it, that much I know.**

**RSH: Sixth Hour English is going to be added in the next few days because SOMEONE forgot to close the poll Monday and get to work!**

**Me: heh heh…oops. REMEMBER TO REVIEW!**


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